Yesterday I caught myself toasting my third bagel, which I then lathered with an excessive amount of cream cheese and consumed in a record breaking two minutes.  Although I am not extremely weight conscious, I knew this went beyond my general love for deli bagels. Typically, only two causes root this imperative need for four sesame bagels:  AP Exams and boys.   I ruled out the exams because I had just completed my fourth final and equally irrelevant test the previous week.  That meant the only cause left would have to be boys, or rather a lack of them.

Staying up until three a.m. to learn about Modern Art for Art History or staying in on weekends to make some summer-themed collages may have contributed to the lack of movement in my bleak love life. Nevertheless, it seems weird to be so focused on boys, especially because the previous weeks had been so consumed with the studying and stress associated with exams and eleventh grade. Wanting to get a guy's attention or simply a smile from a stranger, evident in my carb consumption, seemed to have become a recent interest.  Although present occasionally in my daily routine, the love of being single and attempting to be independent (and failing on multiple occasions) seems to consume the same aspects of my life equally, if not more.

Although finding pride in gaining independence and power as a woman motivates and empowers me, it seems inevitable to want some attention.  I associate myself as a feminist and possess feminist beliefs, yet feel devastated when a boy does not return the same romantic feelings towards me.  It's an uncomfortable paradox that seems to taunt high school and several girls I know.  We stand up for the rights of women, but still desire and need validation from men or perhaps feel less worthy when we have to go to a school dance with friends instead of a date for the eighth time.

This desire for a love interest sometimes seems to connect back to my fashion choices.  Although I do not think my fashion choices necessarily dictate my love life, it wouldn't hurt if I chose to wear pieces that may be more appealing to men.  I think I understood the concept of 'repelling' boys/men when I first read Man Repeller a couple years ago, one of my favorite blogs that speaks about numerous topics such as fashion and culture.  It was there that I connected my flared jeans and high necked blouses with the absence of romance.

However, as I grew older I began to separate those two ideas and loosen the connection between clothing and boyfriends.  Similar to many people I know who love fashion, nothing stops the desire or purchase of wacky, man-repelling items.  It really does not matter what boys or one's peers think about fashion choices because it is shared by a group of passionate individuals and functions as a platform for individual expression.

The Last Stretch

Finals week is coming up.  Here are my essentials for the long and treacherous days ahead.  xx

1. Comfortable Shoes

2. A good book

3. Sweatpants

4. T-Shirt

5. Cozy Jacket


Fashion in Film: Grease Lightning!

 The first time I watched Grease with my sisters about five or six years ago, it instantly became one of my favorite movies, and the film continues to entertain me immensely.  In fact, the first time we watched it, we watched it three more times in a row and began to sing along.  I'm not sure if this love sprouted from my general love of musicals or the unrealistic storyline, but nevertheless, the costumes worn by the characters seemed to have stood out.  The movie, although released in the late 70s, followed the events of teenagers in the 50s.  Long story short, by coincidence a girl, Sandy, and a boy, Danny, reunite after a summer fling.  Their love has its ups and downs, and of course the events are juxtaposed with a musical accompaniment. The simple midi skirts with button ups seemed to encapsulate an simple, causal ensemble, while creating a squeaky clean image and elegance.  Along with the typical 50s uniform, the last scene seems to stand out as well in regards to the costume design.  Sandy, in order to impress Danny, wears a revealing leather number that consists of an off the shoulder crop top, tight high waisted jeans, and peep toe heels.  I remember as young girl being encapsulated by Sandy's transformation and searching for my inner rebel.


For Mia

In the past, I have always casually supported the fight against cancer.  I say casually because the extent of my involvement with this topic had been viewing the videos and social media posts that emerged on various communication medias.  I never really became aware of the feelings the family members felt from the death of their child or aunt or neighbor when he or she died from cancer.  I never understood the exact feelings until my step grandmother passed away from lung cancer.  I never really understood the intense desire to see the person again for at least a couple minutes, even if I only saw her once a year. Spending time with her as if those minutes could somehow be put into a tiny glass jar or absorbed through the pores that sculpt my skin, keeping alive the ambience of the person who passed.
            These feelings have once again emerged today as my friend from a program I attend about once a month passed away.  She was more than a decent person; she glowed.  Her easy-going nature captivated all her peers, myself included.  Mia’s easiness to express her ideas, interests, and passions as well as her inviting presence made her someone to admire.  Like myself, Mia loved fashion and I mean loved.  As we roamed around Nordstrom before meetings every month, we made comments about the flashy tennis shoes and different designer brands we admired, and even planned on shooting a blog post together for our fashion blogs. If you could not tell her interest in fashion from her innovative ideas about trends and designers, her style seemed to emulate her interests, as well as her laid back attitude and engaging personality. 
            Rest in peace Mia.